Narnian Homeworld Beacon!

[Pew Pew]

The EA SWAR fleet began its assault... Thunderbolts launched and approached the capital, on board the flagship, reports began to come in...
Something was wrong... Very Wrong.

First of all There was no Narn Battlestation. Only a short range subspace beacon broadcasting the following message:

"OK Chump A$$ Frakkin Fools!
This Is Dr. Dre, Leader of the Narnian Peoples and Undefeated Defender of the Hip-Hop Regime! You've been had and our Street Hoodlem Spies in your fleet have tipped us off and proven yet again, that Ize smarter than all three of Youze! Vice Clown Ho Chi, I gots a speshal message for you, get three bullets and shoot those clowns in da heads! You'd be better off! As you puny woprthless assault will have shown you, we've left you nothing of value at our homeworld. All tresured valuables (blunts, gold chains, Hover Cadillac Escalades) have been removed. Factories and Industrial Production has been disabled! Good Luck finding a Big Mac to eat! Your time is coming and I shall soon Drop my Narnian Hip Hop Pants and "Fart in your general Direction!" Kiss My Narnian A$$! Ya Better look out over your shoulders for my four fleets all preparing to destroy you! Check wit your Centauri Hairdresser Allies and you'll find we already are gone! See Ya Suckah!"

Next piece of bad news from the Ground Assault teams beaming and shuttling down: "Uhh Yeah Sir... <pause> There's not a galdarned thing down here but Drugless Strung out Addicts, Hobo's, and Eminem in his Prison cell... Nothing of value is left, they even took the rims and XM radios off all their Cadillacs! Its like a Goldarned Ghost town down here... Except for that Crystal MegaMeth Factory my men and I are just checking out... Uh Wait... what's that beeping sound? .. [End Of Transmission]
The Thunderbolt Fighter Squadron commander reported losses from a thermonuclear explosion at the Capital New Compton...

[Sheridan]

Well then I ,...

Umm,..

Well then we will,.... Ummmm

Admiral,.. what the hell should we do ?

Sheridan reviews the reports,.. " Alright then,.. ummm,.. I will get back to with further orders?"

Sheridan1 to S2,.. "What the hell,.. there is nothing there,.. what do we do?"

S2 to S3,.. WTF

S3 to Ho Chi,.. "Advise?"

Thunderbolts return to SWAR Actual !

[Maximus Plasma]

looks like they relocated to anew neighborhood.

[ISN War Reporter (Embedded)]

ISN BREAKING NEWS

The Narnian Gangsta Rappers Regime has left the Earth Alliance in the dust. Reports indicate an irate Sheridan upset at the string of remote detonated car-bombs and automated drive-by machines left behind on Narnia Prime. Hordes of Strung-Out Drug-Addicted Long Dreadlock Disruptor-AK Sporting Guerillas have been ambushing EA troops all week. The toll in lives is increasing!
Word has it that Eminem, in a maximum security mental asylum/prison was in charge of detonating the nuclear device which was set off as an EA HVT (High Value Target) Team closed in on him. The small 25 KiloTon device obliterated the northwest portion of the capital. EA casualties are unknown as they seem to refuse comment.

Unconfirmed reports indicate three to four Narnian fleets converging upon the capital for a counter attack! More to follow...

[Commander Malex]

On the bridge of the "Black Fleet's Revenge" Klingon Admiral Malex received the Operational Order from Dr. Dre.
Swigging from his 2nd bottle of prized Bloodwine this day, he could smell the war coming to his doorstep! Malex blurted out loud: "Damm! I love the smell of Disruptors in the Morning... Smells like Victory!!! Ensign, hail the Captains of the "Kanye" and "50Cent", we have work to do!"

He snarled in approval as he heard the Narnian WarTheme Song playing over the comms.... If only he had more Klingons left... Watch Video

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1ZL6tdfVic

[Pew Pew]

Admiral 2Pac, on the bridge of the Dreadnaught "Lil Wayne" received his orders from Dr. Dre...
Plan "F#%& da Police" is in effect!
"Yo Ensign" Snapped 2Pac, "Get the Commanders of the "TPain" and "PDiddy"... We gotz some killin' to do...!"

[Ho Chi]

***Yawns***

[Sheridan]

Ho Chi pay attention,..

Look at the beauty of that image above,... It is of the Narn fleeing,.. their homeworld. It is a stunning photo of some beautiful ships.

Ref,.. is the Narn Homeworld still worth 20 EP or have the crafted some way to erase their production base as indicated in the rantings above?

Actually Narnian, if your war of aggression is over with the Centauri, we are glad. We did not want to travel all the way out here to destroy
your homeworld. You left us little choice though. All we wanted was for your wars with others to end.

Ho Chi again we have achieved our goal. Congratulations !!

Sheridan

[Pew Pew]

LOL!
No, we didn't erase production.
Planet still has lootables!
Centauri cowards aren't worth our time, they're too busy with their hairdressers!
We're just prepping for the Aftermath!
Aftermath is Dr. Dre's Record Company BTW.

[Sheridan]

Gangsta Alf,... if you wish to continue to War with us we understand and will accept that, the Swar fleet is sorta outta work now
and looking for something to do.

If on the other hand,.. you wish to normalize relations with the EA we gladly would
accept that.

All we ask is that you do not war with other nations right before and during,..
Shalafi's giant Empire invades. Now that you no longer threaten the Centauri
we have no particular beef with ya Thugs.

We believe we can all go back to normal relations (attacking the crap outta each other)
once the Vorlon Shield has been raised and we are protected from the outside
Empire. Until then though,. the EA will continue to fight any aggression among the
inhabitants of this Galaxy.

Yo Yo
Sheridan2

[Sheridan]

After reports come in that the Escalade Hovercraft factories are still sorta working,..

Sheridan puts in an order for 3 pimped out rides, with bullet proof glass, and fridge,..

Tis Christmas after all.

[Pew Pew]

You and your Unemployed Hobo SWAR cronies can $#*&%$%$ *&$%#%$ (&$%^$ #*(*&^*^$) % #$#%^& (*^(&^)&)^_^&%^$ %#$#$# $#@! !~@#%$%# #!#^%^&*^%$#$@#$^^%&*(@!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*&^%*((() (()(*%$$@#@##**! Got it!

We're ready to pounce upon Centauri Swine and teach 'Em a lesson! We're ready to hear your chikin' bones crunching beneath our laceless boots! We'll be seeing you again... for now however ...we fear nuthin' from da Police (ie YOU). Good luck wit dat Vorlon Shield: cuz da only thing you have to fear is my dizzy in yo face!

Yo Ho Ho, Merry Xmas Sheridan 2 Man, stealin' a Thugs Escalade... Just not right...

[Pew Pew]

Joint Klingon-Narn Black Fleet Commander Malex sat back in his chair, sipping a vintage Klingon Bloodwine. Word came over the Comms that Narn Prime had fallen to E.A. Occupation. Indeed, Dr. Dre saw that one coming! The Nuke musta surprised them. Ha! never liked that crazy Eminem dude, but he sure knew how to detonate a Nuke! A True Warriors Death! Word just came in that Garosh was under joint EA-Centauri assault! Figures! All Part of the Plan!

"All right Ensign, All Ahead Full! We Got Work To Do! Today is a Good Day To Hunt Our Enemies! The Black Fleet is the Master at Silent Hunting!"

[Commander Malex]

Black Fleet Commander Malex wiped his Bat'leh down after slaughtering yet another ISN news "spy". Taking a swig of his last bottle of vintage Klingon Bloodwine, he began to calm down from his euphoric Klingon Blood-Lust aggression. Word came over the Comms that the space message traffic lanes reported groups of unidentified three-ship alien fleets descending from hyperspace.
"Hmmm, we may not have all the time I hoped for to exact our revenge..."
Malex thought to himself.

"Fine... [punching up the wall comms panel] Ensign, Battlestations!!!"

[Pew Pew]

The Narnian Gangsta Street-Hoodlem Resistance fought tirelessly against Earth Alliance occupation forces. Disruptor AK-Drive-By's, Bloodwine and Gin-n-Juice Coctail Bombs, Buried Roadside Neutron Bombs, even Suicide Hobo Bombs (don't ask---crack 'em up and let em go!). The Earth Alliance occupation forces headquarters was blown up 4 times. Bodies of EA patrols were found, ambushed and grafitti spray painted with gang signs. The small garrison force was exhausted and became soon paranoid refusing to patrol the planetside. A fortress mentaility took over. Soon the resupply stopped coming to this force. In fact, they began to feel abandoned. Why were they so far from home, in this hell hole occupying the Narnian Regimes' ruins? When would this misery end?