A visit to the Council Chambers

[Emperor Kumar]

“What is going on here” Emperor Kumar asks
“I have no idea majesty they did say this was the meeting place for the galactic council meeting.”
“Things are so somber and depressing you would think a wedding was about to take place. You are sure you did not confuse the instructions on where we are supposed to be going?”
“No majesty the instructions were quite explicit,” Minister Vallini handed the note to Emperor Kumar.
“Great maker...” the emperor exclaimed while reading the note, “did you have this note authenticated?”
“It came thru proper channels…why is something amiss?”
“It was written by my second wife,” he pulled out photos of his wives “ruin, destruction and devastation. I keep them off world so I can get some peace. But now…What was that noise?”
“Oh my, I do believe we are being followed… Guards protect his majesty.”
“I should never have cut off their credit but the amount of money they were spending could fund a small planet. It was wife number two who promised to get even with me. And where destruction goes ruin and devastation follows in her wake.” The footsteps pace increased.
“Majesty the shuttle bay is the next corridor to your right.”
“Let us get out of this infernal place. Let her vent her frustration to empty air,” Emperor Kumar quipped as the terror reflected from his eyes. He stepped into the Royal Shuttle and left.

[Emperor Kumar]

“And that is when he leapt on one leg.” Emperor Kumar and the Lady Helias laughed as they sipped bravari.
“Majesty…Majesty,” Minister Vallini queried.
“Do you not see I am busy talking with this lovely young lady?”
“It is your second wife Majesty,” Vallini’s voice waived, “she awaits you in the mediation chamber.”
“You mean she is here… at the royal palace?!?”
“Perhaps I should leave,” the Lady Helias barely spoke as Emperor Kumar forced her out the door “majesty?”
“Yes…of course… you are right. Have a nice day. Good-bye. Vallini How long has she been here? And why the hell was I not informed of this…this…” Kumar looked in nervously in both directions “honor?”
“Apparently she bribed your personal secretary and set up an appointment with a mediator after we ran…” Minister Vallini puts a finger to his mouth, “forgive me majesty I misspoke, after we missed her at the galactic meeting hall.”
“Put my former secretary on food taster detail and find me someone I can trust to be my new secretary.”
“Trust, Majesty?” Vallini speaks, “such a person does not exist but I will fill the position with the least offensive person I can.”
“Fair enough. She knows I am in residence, doesn’t she,” Kumar desperately wants to hear no.
“She has your complete itinerary Majesty.”
“Right then,” Kumar swallows the last of the bravari in his glass, “let us go to the mediation chamber.” Emperor Kumar walked down the Hallway.
“The chamber is this way Majesty,” Vallini said while pointing in the opposite direction.
“I know…I know…,” Emperor Kumar slumped as he followed Minster Vallini.

[Gold Centurion]

ROFLMAO! Ya Scary Tight Leather Pants Wearing Centauri Hairdresser Bastage!

[Pew Pew]

The Narnian Gangsta Thugz Remind Emperor Kumar, That our UndaCovah Hoodlems Can Reach Out And Get You Where You Sleep! Watch That Bravari You Are Drinking, It may be Spiked By Narnian Hands! You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide! We Will Getcha!

[Emperor Kumar]

“Majesty,” Minister Vallini said as he opened the mediation chamber doors, “may I present Mediator Alinus.”
Emperor Kumar sticks his head into the room and looks in both directions, “Ah well it seems I have missed the shriveled old bat.” A shadow moves behind him as he rambles on, “She could suck the joy out a man’s heart just by looking at him and castrate him with but a glance.”
“Majesty,” Vallini’s eyes dart about.
Emperor Kumar leans in and whispers in Vallini’s ear, “she is behind me is she not?”
Minister Vallini nods rapidly up and down.
The emperors expression turns from hopeful optimism to abject terror as he turns to face her.

[Emperor Kumar]

“Ah my passionate flower,” his voice quivers like a man about to die, “you brighten our lives by your mere presence.”
“Oh stick it in an orifice you have not tried yet you libidinous old drunk,” the Lady Kumar angrily pushes passed the Emperor and assumes her seat at the table.
“So since we have now abandoned civility you demented zarg. Vallini go get me something to drink and get something for the Lady Kumar as well.”
“Nothing for me, I can get a contact high just by sitting near this inebriated fool.”
Vallini returns shortly with a large goblet. Emperor Kumar starts to drink and immediately spits it back out.
“What in the name of the underworld is this?”
“Water your Majesty,” Vallini replies quizzically.
“I said,” the Emperors voice begins to rise, “I wanted something to drink not to bathe with.”
“But majesty,” but before Vallini could finish the Emperor started to poor the water out in a slow steady stream. Vallini began to dance in a most peculiar fashion.
“With your permission Majesty,” Vallinis discomfort grew as Kumar continued to allow the water to trickle out.
“Go…go before you wet yourself,” Kumar chuckled to himself.
“It is too bad you will not be able to dismiss me quite so easily you wastrel.”
Again the Emperor’s mood soured as he turned to deal with his wife.

[Gold Centurion]

You're Doomed I tall Ya!

[Emperor Kumar]

“So, why did you drag me here,” Emperor Kumar said while staring at hands, “our marriage only works because we never see each other. Now why do you threaten that?”
“As mediator my duty is to balance the needs of both parties,” turning to Lady Kumar, “you may begin my lady.”
“ That sorry excuse of a husband has not only been behaving like a teenage boy always thinking with the wrong organ, but he has engaged in orgies and what not. Disgraceful behavior.”
“Majesty, how do you reply to that.”
“How else can I reply to that, the goddess Li is the patron god of my house. I am required to attend all festivals and gathering to honor her.” Emperor Kumar sighs and smiles remembering the last festival, “it is a burden but I gladly shoulder it to to honor my house.”
“Always your excuse,” the lady quipped.
“Bah, she knew my families proclivities during these festivals when she married me.”
“Is this true lady?”
“I would never condone such behavior it is reprehensible,” indignant she shifted in her seat and face the side wall.
“But you did know that his house worshiped the goddess Li,” the mediator stated as fact, “so that point of contention is over. Do you have any other issues Lady?”
“But...I...” the lady stammered.
“ We shall recess for five minutes.”
A glimmer entered the Emperor's eyes as a smirk spread across his face as he turned on the comm on the wall. “Vallini I want you to get something for me.”

[Emperor Kumar]

After a ten minute break Mediator Alinus speaks, “Majesty, Milady if you could join me we will continue.”
“Why did the first Emperor ever require the noble house to use mediation,” Emperor Kumar mutters to himself.
“Why Emperor, Mediator Alinus answers, “so one or two noble houses can not take the centauri republic into a civil war over trivial matters.”
“Very well…get on with it,” Kumar scowls.
“Lady Kumar you had two other points of contention. Please state your case.”
“He drinks far more than any centauri should,” she stated snidely.
“That also has no bearing on these proceedings,” Alinus continued “festivals to Li require a certain amount of…shall we say excess?”
“And a grand time is had by all,” Kumar chuckles to himself.
“That lascivious man sent me to live on a colony world making me leave my family and friends,” a fake tear rolls down her cheek as she pretends to find the right words. “I am all alone.”
“Emperor is this true,” Alinus asks the emperor.
“Yes and no. Yes she had to move to the colony world where I was born. It is tradition. But, however, she has never been alone. My other two wives live in my family’s house with her.”
“I see…” Mediator Alinus weighed his words carefully, “My Lady Kumar you have no legal rights in this matter so these proceeding will end.”
“Just a moment Mediator Alinus is it not true that as the cleared party I can counter,” Kumar’s smile widens.
“Of course Majesty, I will allow a recess of ten minutes for you to prepare.”

[Gold Centurion]

Sounds like divorce court to me...