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Post by Dr FeeLine on Jan 17, 2008 14:18:03 GMT -5
Why are we the traitors if it is your race who started this whole mess? Remember you fired first on a PEACE accord meeting ATTENTION CONCERNED FELINE DENIZENS!!!It seems Cdr. Malex may be suffering long-term dementia from Kat Scratch Fever and may need Feline Psycho-Analytical Intervention! Call quickly 1-999-528-4357 (Kat-Help) Our trained Feline Intervention Spacialists are waiting to assist you and your ailing feline friend! Again, Call quickly 1-999-528-4357 (Kat-Help)! BUT WAIT!If you call in the next five minutes, we'll throw in 3 FREE Neuro-Electrical-Brain-Stimulation Therapy Sessions for FREE!Notice: The Pan-Galactic Board of Feline-Psycho-Analytical Professionals has not endorsed this program nor any of its Quack remedies. Risks of such treatments can include Nausia, Diahrrea, Chills, Fever, Dry Mouth, Extreme Itching, Loss of Fur, Foaming at the Mouth, Incessant Drooling, Epilepsy, Loss of Vision, Loss of Memory, Loss of Hearing, Loss of Taste, Loss of Higher Motor Functions, Brain Damage equating to full frontal Lobotomy, Death, and Severe Headache.
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Post by DeathFrog on Jan 17, 2008 19:32:08 GMT -5
Not to mention Katnip withdrawal symptoms.
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Jan 18, 2008 19:59:43 GMT -5
ACT One, Scene Three Commander Malex rolls out of his bunk, swearing as he bumps his head and trips over 3 empty bottles. He answers the Comms from the Bridge. "Yes, What Do You Want Kat-Burgler?" he growls. "Sir" hesitation on the line, "The Lyrans are counter-attacking the Scottish Pita Fleet as we speak! I thought you might want to listen in..." Malex grumbles, "Yeah, sure...OK, I'll be up there, get me a Hot Milk ASAP!" Malex gets on his uniform, phaser holster, and boots, then stops as he heads for the door, turns, looks over at the stacked cases of Katnipian Brandy, and grabs one for the road. He ponders how this war is going. "Too soon to tell yet" he thinks. He pauses at the porthole...looking out into the [REDACTED]. Yeah, things are gonna get real bad soon, but he always knew they would.
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Jan 20, 2008 1:25:42 GMT -5
ACT One, Scene Four It took 3 Mirak Star Marines to get Commander Malex's Paws off of the young Ensigns' neck What was he thinking, saying that we were gonna lose this war? XO Kat-Burgler knew that to suggest such a thing was libel to push Malex over the edge. Commander Malex managed to shake off the Marines, and throw a mostly empty bottle (of Katnipian Brandy) through the open bulkhead doors at poor Ensign Fisherkat. Fishercat was gonna languish in the Brig until either Malex cooled off, or the poor bastage got sent on some suicidal ground assault mission. Malex was one pissed off Kat now that he heard of Lyran successes broadcast on the intercepted Lyran subspace defense comms. Major Pita's honorable sacrifice would be repaid in blood, plenty of Lyran Blood no doubt. Malex was falling back into his well known unstable self, the one the Mirak command knew had to be harnessed carefully. XO Kat-Burgler, specifically assigned to keep tabs on his CO, just kept silent, knowing to survive he'd need to be shrewd. He just kept monitoring the heavy [REDACTED] interference. We'll get our turn too real soon...
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Jan 21, 2008 20:22:58 GMT -5
ACT One, Scene Five Commander Malex sat in his Captains chair on the Bridge....preparing to listen in on the impending battle... He took a swig from his bottle, ever present in his paws now.... This time, the crew was very, very quiet...
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Jan 26, 2008 0:58:28 GMT -5
ACT One, Scene Six
When the smoke cleared, Yoeman TriggerPaw was dead, splayed across the weapons console, eyes wide open in shock, a gaping smoky burned hole in his back and bits of burned fur across the floor of the bridge. The tinge of Phaser fire remained in the air... Commander Malex lowered the phaser, and repeated his earlier command... "Shut Up when I'm listening to the Comms!" The Bridge crew all remained deathly silent... XO Kat-Burgler silently rolled his eyes thinking to himself "Friggin Dangerous Bastage that Malex!"
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Post by DeathFrog on Jan 26, 2008 16:10:36 GMT -5
Liege Dfly to his Warchief, Warchild: "If only he could fly as good as he shoots" Warchief Warchild to Liege Dfly: "Comms are on" Liege Dfly: "did I say that out loud?"
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Post by 6 of 9 on Feb 3, 2008 15:15:11 GMT -5
LMAO! AWESOME! I WISH I COULD MAKE THAT MY NEW AVATAR BUT IT LOOKS LIKE CRAP IF I PUT IT IN
well, at least it'll be my new signature
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Post by Evil Spock on Feb 3, 2008 16:50:20 GMT -5
Very funny indeed !!
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Feb 4, 2008 13:30:36 GMT -5
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Post by 6 of 9 on Feb 4, 2008 14:53:13 GMT -5
Awesome, i'm working on some additions to my profile
BEHOLD!
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Feb 4, 2008 17:34:45 GMT -5
Bonus! You Commie Bastage! Now Your Talking Like a Real Marxist-Leninist Anti-Capitalistic Pigs Lyro-Leech!
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Commander Malex
Backyard Yowler
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! "Kat-Of-Endless-Droning"
Posts: 881
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Post by Commander Malex on Feb 7, 2008 11:50:23 GMT -5
Act Two, Scene One:Malex looked at the swirling nebula around him.... Still fuming from recent battles but satisfied that these Lyro-Leeches were dying in droves. He was especially perturbed by Admiral Newtured's promotion. That Fat-A$$ed Waste of Litter! Figures the High Command would pick that Looser, while sending me on the Suicide Mission! Well, I did Volunteer, HA! Should I survive, I plan to gut that Lump of Lard! Soon you little Lyran Bastages, soon, I'll be The Bringer of Destruction! The Nebula was dissipating and finally the stars reappeared and a planetary system appeared within sight... CDR Malex barked over at XO Kat-Burgler: "Prepare for Battlestations...Marines to the Transporters and Assault Shuttles, calibrate the Drone Racks, and prepare to send the Alpha Message to Mirak Headquarters...in the open."
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